Christmas has come and gone, Hanukkah is a distant memory, and we’re still wondering what exactly happens on Boxing Day… that must mean it’s that time of year again–time for everyone to make their New Year’s resolutions. In keeping with this yearly tradition, the staff at Ian’s on Frances Street has decided to join in with the rest of the world and let you know our plans, hopes, and dreams.
Nagy- The majestic GM of Frances Street hopes to continue to grow his mane out until it is comparable to that of a unicorn. He will then spend 2017 searching for the perfect forehead horn in the hopes of becoming the official Ian’s Pizza mascot by 2018.
Jeff- The Assistant Manager of this house hopes to become more serious, and smile at up to ten customers in the coming year.
Eli- His goal is to completely run the entire Frances store by himself. He will be the cook, the dishwasher, the cleaner, the register, you name it — Eli will do it all with no one else in the store. This year Frances Street; next year, the world.
Savanah- She is hoping that 2016 will bring her the perfect wolf tee and the perfect wolf howl to accompany it.
Cullen- He plans to become even funnier in the new year, although he has some doubts about this as he’s already the world’s funniest man.
Amanda- The smallest of the crew, she hopes to find a way to get taller in 2016. She is convinced that a growth spurt is still coming and when it does you better all watch out.
Erin- She has a serious case of RBF. She is hoping by the end of the coming year to be in possession of the patent for pills that cure this.
Jo- Flattop Jo is obviously going to work on his flattop, duh. The goal? Make it tall enough to skim the ceiling.
Austin- Our blind employee would like to find his lost glasses so he can once again serve you the most delicious pizza in Madison. He also is working toward perfecting his ramen pizza. Mmmm, ramen pizza.
Emily- Emily will become friends with every new customer that walks through the door this coming year. Please note, it is not official until she has the digits.
Del & Molly- Our newest, most timid employees will strive to become the loudest, most boisterous employees by the end of 2016.
Geo- Resolution? To learn the difference between “damn straight” and “demonstrate.” Given that we worked on it all 2015, the hope is that 2016 is our year.
Nacho- His goal for 2016 is to see how close he can actually cut it to being late while still being on time. Right now he is within minutes, and he would like to shave this down into seconds.
Mario- Prosper. That’s all.
Modesto- He is already essentially our bodyguard so his only goal for the new year is to continue to keep us all safe, like Superman.
Levi- He’s looking to be the fastest pizza maker this side of the Mississippi. By the end of the year he believes he’ll be comparable to the Flash, but with dough.
Angela & Daniel- Our salad king & queen hope to find the elusive Vegetable Promise Land in 2016. It’s rumored to be in a place called Hidden Valley.
There you have it, Pizzanauts, another year in the books and another round of resolutions to help inspire you to make (and keep) your own. And remember, if you don’t find someone to kiss at midnight, you can always kiss a slice at the end of the night (which probably tastes better anyhow).
Have a safe, happy, and pizza-filled 2016!
Frances Street Ian’s Crew